The subconscious artistic contract

I recently mailed out a postcard featuring my latest painting.  Modern Postard offers an affordable package and they are easy for me to use, so I've made the commitment to a marketing plan that includes quarterly mailings to everyone on my list. 

I was actually able to track some of the responses to this card because I used a new version of my name and the searches showed up in the stats on my website.   Yes, I was excited that a few of the 125 recipients were interested enough in my sample to look for me on the Internet.  (Through an oversight, I left off my web address - always proof read carefully!).  But then I felt let down when nothing else happened.  Why wasn't my email box filling up with demands for my work?

Of course, intellectually, I hadn't expected any response from this mailing, so I should have been very happy that a few people went to the web page. But I wasn't.  Emotionally, I was expecting something entirely different, and hadn't even been aware of it.  I've concluded that, subconsciously, I  constructed an "artistic contract" with myself -- "If you do this, something wonderful will happen."  I was feeling disappointed because that hidden clause hadn't been fulfilled.

How often does an positive outcome feel like a disappointment?  For me, more often than I like. I suspect it's because I'm indulging in emotional wishful thinking without acknowledging it.  Sure, there's no harm in enjoying a fantasy now and then: the dreams keep me motivated.  But I have to pay attention to the little signs that I may have "contracted" with myself for a different outcome and, consequently, added unnecessary frustration.

Along with my marketing plan, I'm including a conscious "artistic contract" just to keep my emotions grounded:

• In exchange for designing, addressing, and mailing this postcard I expect only to raise awareness of my name and introduce people to one new image.  I include my contact information because the post office requires a return address.  I include my web site to offer convenience to those who want to see more art.  I am a business person, laying the ground work for future proposals to galleries, and expect nothing more of this mailing than the above mentioned benefits.

I think this is a positive way to contract with myself for the difficult work of marketing.  Please add your comments if you've experienced "subconscious contracts." 

Here is a quote I found on Robert Genn's website:

"Painting is almost like a religious experience, which should go on and on.  Age just gives you the freedom to do some things you've never done before.  Great work can come at any stage of your life."
                                                                                            -Will Barnet

Comments

[Janz]

Sue, I have been thinking about this contracting with yourself thinger for a couple of days now. Often I feel as if an audience is watching me as I paint and they are constantly giving their comments and suggestions as to who will look at this canvas, who will buy it, and even ask for a commission. By the time I have finished the work I have convinced myself that the whole world is knocking down my door to just catch a glimpse of the original before one lucking personage takes it home. Then I come out of my euphoria when even my own family says oh thats nice but it doesn't do a thing for me.
I really like your work,it is similar in some respects to mine, you made a comment with your piece "The River Knows" about how the medium chooses the artist, really in a way that is true just as water chooses its route to the sea. The river carves its way slowly over time, and we like the flowing water bump into ourselves now and then.
Janz