Little Goals

In my last post I talked about the big goals.  Today I have had to think about the little goals.  Things as small as what name to use with my new web page, and whether or not I can afford to remain in my studio at The Loft.

Although choosing a name should be simple, I struggled with my decision.  I have established an identity in Central Oregon as Sue Smith.  Easy to remember, easy to spell.  As far as I know, I am the only Sue Smith who is also an artist, and who lives in Redmond.  But a simple Google search reveals many Sue Smiths.  It became clear to me, after a great deal of resistance on my part (but they know me) I decided to use Sue Favinger Smith as my professional name.  The motivating forces included my Art Biz Coach, Alyson Stanfield, as well as my web designer, Pat Velte.  On an intellectual level, I agree with their logic and expertize.  On an emotional level, it required a lot of unexpected letting go...of who I thought I was, of all that hard work establishing that identity, and of the meaning embodied in that identity.

I am currently reading The Van Gogh Blues by Eric Maisel (my favorite self-help author), and it is his insight about the meaning we attach to our art making that I am currently connecting to my decision on the name change, as well as my pending decision to move my studio home from its current location at The Loft. I know that there are circumstances beyond my control regarding The Loft, and changes that will make it financially difficult and unwise for me to remain there.  So coming home is like a giant step backward, and the depression is looming.  Likewise, the decision to change the name also feels like a huge risk.  Even though I tell myself that I will be marketing my art and my name outside the area, where the uniqueness of the new version will make me more memorable, emotionally, it feels like a second huge loss.

In The Van Gogh Blues,  Maisel talks about the depression that arises when the work loses meaning, and how important it is for an artist to constantly work to reestablish or retain that meaning.  So that is my small goal.  To remain aware of what is happening emotionally and why it is happening, and to gently remind myself that the meaning exists not in a place or a name, but in the process of creating the art.
One of those "easier said than done" moments to be sure, because I struggle with the belief that if the public cannot see or share in the art, then it has no purpose.  Sort of like "if a tree falls in the forest and there's no one around to hear, does it really matter" questions. 

According to Maisel, this sort of struggle between art and meaning seems to be pretty universal with artists, so I'm wondering if anyone out there has experienced similar struggles.  If you have, please leave your story in the comments section of this post. 

My two lovely daughters on our recent trip to Colorado to visit my aging parents.  That's my dad  in the red hat, and I am honoring him by my use of Favinger (my maiden name) in Sue Favinger Smith.

Comments

[Sue C F Smith]

Thank you, K, for the fresh perspective. I appreciate the reminder that good things will come out of this change. I know that "where" I work has absolutely no bearing on the "legitimacy" of what I produce and your comment helps me to see that reality.

[lookingforbeauty]

Sue,
I find it interesting that you think you might be going backwards if you return to a studio at home.
I've been so much away from my home that the possibility of find myself at home and able to spend time on my own is delightful. Finally I can think in the peace and quiet that is here. I don't have to go anywhere in order to paint. It has become part of my daily life (or will do as soon as I've got this house moving completed).
I always found that when I was working amongst others at a studio, I'd be influenced by them. Some of their work was so great that I felt intimidated and sometimes bent my work as a result of their influences.
Whenever I've been able to find time at home to think through my projects, I make much better progress.
Think on the positive side what you might gain in being out of the studio once again to follow your own creative path.
Good luck with it,
K

[Sue C F Smith]

Thank you, Alyson, you have been a great inspiration. Actually, I did follow Margret's blog and went to Portland to see both the Rembrandt exhibit and her exhibit at the Lawrence Gallery. WE have been in brief contact, but yes, I think we do have much in common ~ at least when it comes to playing with the paint and a fondness for vermilion!

[Alyson B. Stanfield]

Sue, you can still be known as Sue Smith! It's just that your professional materials will have the addition of your middle name or initial. None of my friends address me as "Alyson B. Stanfield," (with the B) but everything in my marketing includes that 2nd letter of the alphabet.

You're doing a great job on this blog!

You should look up my client-friend, Margret, if you're ever near Portland:
http://www.margretshort.com
You do very different kinds of work, but I think you'd enjoy each other.